Turnaround: the Hardest 2 Months of My Life

We were so very thankful to have a full month together as a family before Jordan started his insane turnaround schedule. He had to work night shift for 2 straight months. I believe when it was all said and done he worked 55 days with only 3 days off. So although this post might be more centered on how hard it was for me, it was absolutely insane for him. My super active husband suddenly became a tv zombie. So hats off to you, babe. Thank you for all you do for our family.

Now I'll tell my struggles :)

Sweet Clara and her "fussy time"

Those 2 months were possibly the hardest months I've ever endured, and yet looking back I see how God was with me through all of it and blessed me with such amazing friends to help lighten my load. Clara, the sweetheart that she is, had mild colic at night. It really began after turnaround started (of course) and lasted only shortly after it stopped (again, OF COURSE).  Fortunately I was warned that the biggest change with having a second child was that you may have to let the baby cry while you attend your other kid and vice versa. Thank you ladies for that advice because there were many nights I just had to lay her on Conall's bed crying while I tucked him in and, very quickly, read him a short story. 

Speaking of which, poor Conall had a very strict bedtime schedule because of this. And because- my sanity. As soon as 7pm hit- BAM! Bedtime! Wide awake and running circles? Bedtime! It didn't matter. This poor mama needed a bit of sanity before the colic started up.

But I was not alone. A few friends in particular would let me know they were coming later in the week to bring dinner and hang out, and really showed me that I wasn't alone in this- that I don't need to act like I've got it all together. I'll always cherish memories of us trying to whisper talk amidst what felt like inconsolable crying (Sweet Clara, she's so much better now!).

 She really was quite happy
outside of the fussy time!

But that's the thing about friendship and with being real with one another. There will be times when your baby will just. not. stop. crying. You can suck it up and struggle alone or you can allow others in that want to be there for you. I learned that sometimes you have to ask for help even when you don't want to inconvenience others or have others look down on you. A small part of me wanted to be completely capable of surviving on my own throughout the turnaround, but we were made for community and I needed it! And I like to think that I wasn't inconveniencing those friends. On the other side of this is that I want to be a just as present and supportive friend to pass it on.  The kind of friend that is willing to drop their plans and rush to one's aid. To be honest, I wish I were that kind of friend more often. It's much too easy to get swept up in the chaos of everyday life. So that's my goal: trying to be more present and not wait for the perfect, or even good, timing to be a good friend. Who knew I could learn so much about friendship through a change in my husband's work schedule?

April

I'm going to do my best to not sound like my blog is written by a 4th grader.  Here goes ;)


April was a great month!  My littlest baby turned one month old and my big baby turned 20 months old.  The sweetest thing is seeing him interact with her.  Conall adores Clara and giving her kisses, hugs,  toys, and rough love.  He loves her too much sometimes. Lately he finds it hilarious to tickle her face. Let's just say... she doesn't find it funny, but I'm grateful he loves her and isn't resentful!

Having 2 under 2 isn't terrifying like I thought it would be.  Clara is great and just eats, sleeps, and poos. Conall, on the other hand, is a bit of a mess. The addition of sweet Clara brought out not only his intense brotherly love, but also a bit of a rebellious stage. "No" is his favorite word. Well, maybe "snack" is, but "no" is a close second.  I knew this day would come but was surprised that it was ushered in by his sister (I probably shouldn't have been though).

Conall 20 months:
Weight: 25lbs
Size clothes: mostly 24 months
Size diaper: 5
Hair: Blonde
Eyes: Hazel
Toys: His outside slide and water table
Skill: He is constantly learning new words! My little parrot!
Food: PB&J, he's becoming a slightly picky eater (aka definitely a toddler)

Basically at 20 months Conall's vocabulary has blown up (somewhat). He LOVES his Sissy and he also LOVES playing outside: backyard, park, splash pad

Clara: 1 month
Weight: about 9 lbs
Size clothes: 3 month (0-3)
Size diaper: 1
Hair: dark blonde, for now
Eyes: Bluish
Skills: She just started smiling :) Also she enjoys spending a couple hours of girl time with me in the middle of the night. I love her... but hope to quickly move our sweet time together to a time that isn't the middle of the night.

During the middle of the month Jordan's parents (Dorie and Poppy) came to visit and help out right before/during the start of turnaround. Conall got to spend a lot of quality time with them at the park and zoo and just hanging around the house. Clara got many cuddles too!

Jordan started his crazy work hours the night that Clara turned 1 month old. In the time period our dryer broke and I fixed it, and Clara's ceiling fan quit working and was also fixed (although not by me).  But my friends have really been a huge help. Some have come to hang out at night with me, others are planning play dates, and then others are making delicious dinners. What I'm really learning during this time is that I need community and need to be vulnerable about that. My natural inclination is to say I'm good or I'm fine and then suffer silently. But allowing others to help me and my family not only (obviously) helps me keep my sanity but it allows deeper friendships to happen. I'm so thankful for all my friends here (and those away who check in on me, including my family) who've been a huge help. I love you all!

Clara's birth story

On Thursday,  March 19, we welcomed our baby girl to the world.

The entire experience was a blessing from God, prayers were answered in big ways.

The week before she came I freaked out about child care for Conall. Ideally the best times to go into labor would be during my parents' visit or during Easter week when I definitely had someone who could watch Conall. But with Jordan's crazy work hours beginning in mid-April,  the sooner the better. Well, the morning after my parents get into town I had my weekly check up. And we discover my waters had ruptured. So, to eliminate the risk of infection and danger to the baby I was sent to the hospital to be induced. Again.  No rushing to the hospital for me, but it was comforting having done that before with Conall and knowing what to expect.

 Clara measured small throughout the pregnancy and my due date was pushed back almost a week, but I've been keeping track of the actual date.  So according to my date she was born 37 weeks 3 days,  but according to their dates it was 36 weeks 6 days,  same as Conall.

Labor lasted about 5 hours and I blessedly got an epidural.  She was facing sunny side up for a bit causing back labor, which was HORRIBLE. I decided at the last minute to use the long mirror they provide so you can watch everything happen, and honestly it was really neat!  Completely surreal.  She came out and my doctor got caught up in the moment and forgot we didn't know the gender so I had to ask,  what is it?!! And "it" was my girl! She was SO much smaller than Conall, weighing in at 5 lbs 14oz, but still 19 inches long like her brother. He was 7 lbs 1oz. Quite a difference!  I got to hold her immediately after, all cottage cheesy and messy, and we did skin to skin.  All things I couldn't do after the first birth. All little answers to prayer.  The biggest answer to prayer was that my previous injury (4th degree internal laceration) wasn't even bothered.  No tears and no issues!! And she didn't appear to have any issues and stayed with me in my room for a little over 24 hours.

Being so tiny and less then 37 weeks,  the nurses had to monitor her blood sugar levels before every feeding.  At first they were only slightly low and then they started getting lower.  So she was admitted to the nicu for some sugar in an IV and had to be monitored for 24 hours.  It was definitely not what I would've wanted and it was hard, but not as scary as Conall's trouble breathing and oxygen levels.  But long story short she got the nutrition she needed and was released as quickly as possible.

Conall LOVES his sissy.  He can't say Clara very well (the l's are difficult for him) so she's Sissy to him.  But I'll post more about them later.  We just love her and are so glad she's here!

19 months

I'm determined to get at least one post in on time before I have this second baby and my life gets real crazy.

19 months and it's March. Insane.

I'll just skip the height & weight because, although I'm sure he's grown,  I don't want to weigh him.  He's probably close to last months stats ;)

Hair: blonde and in need of a hair cut
Diaper and shoe size: 5
Clothes size: mix of 18 and 24 month clothes.  18 is slightly too small and 24 is a bit too big.

New words: "night,  night", Mimi (my mom), DeeDee (Jordan's mom, whose grandma name is Dorie), and Poppy (Jordan's dad)... and some better pronunciation of old words like Ellie (our dog).

New skills: putting together puzzles,  sorting different shapes,  climbing over/onto anything, & driving himself in his little tykes car. He is also super fascinated with trying to put things into his ear. And food on his hair. And he loves watching me go to the bathroom.

Fun trips: as our last trip as a family of 3, we went to Pensacola Beach and enjoyed the Gulf Breeze Zoo,  kids' park, and Children's museum.  Jordan ran the double bridge run and made a PR for 15Ks.

Fun visits: Jordan's parents, Dorie and Poppy,  came to visit for Valentine's day weekend. Conall got his very own heart shaped balloon from them, which he adored.  We went to the New Orlean's aquarium (bad idea on Mardi Gras weekend,  pregnant brain fail). Then Conall,  Dorie,  and Poppy enjoyed their first Mardi Gras parade with us on valentine's day. We went to the Spanish town parade which is a very eclectic sort of parade.  In other words... it's great for people watching. Conall LOVED it.  He loved the beads and the music and all the free toys which he received from most people around us. My boy is such a little Louisianan.

36 weeks with #2
A couple of weeks ago my wonderful friends who are a part of my book club threw me a surprise shower/sprinkle.  I was not expecting it.  Not. At. All. I'm just grateful I decided to put makeup on and tried to manage my not-washed-in-three-days hair!  To be fair to my hair has adjusted to not being washed daily and isn't as gross as it sounds.   Anyways,  it was so wonderful to celebrate #2 with my friends.  I guess as a middle child myself I don't want this kid to be any less celebrated or loved.

The past two weekends we've decluttered and nested and the baby's room is almost cleared out.  We'll wait on painting the room and the dresser until we know the gender.  At first I was going to have a more gender neutral theme using Conall's old stuff,  but let's be honest.  If it's a girl I'll want a girly room.  And if it's a boy then he can continue to hav
e Conall's stuff.

How I'm feeling: pretty good honestly.  Very pregnant.  Space inside my belly is running out,  but I'm not too achy or tired.  It helps that Conall takes a 2 hour nap daily still.  Or what I life to refer to as OUR nap time. So far I've gained about 25 pounds and try to be active and not eat 5 brownies at a time.  I wanted to the other night but then Jordan put on (without knowing my craving for brownies) my 600 pound life TV show.  Needless to say I only had one and then got off my butt to be productive and active.

We've decided on names but will keep them hush hush until baby comes.  I think Conall knows baby is coming soon.  We bought him books about getting a new baby and being a big brother and he's been extra clingy.  But I love it.  I'll take all the cuddles and hugs I can get. 

34 weeks

February post: 18 months

Note: still lagging behind and really only expect it to get worse...

How is my little munchkin a year AND A HALF old?! How are we in February (or really March) already?? Why is there only 7 (really 5) weeks or less left till the baby comes??!?! If this one is born at the same gestation period as Conall,  then we only have 3 (1) weeks.

3 (1) weeks, people!

Time is going by so fast.  I'm afraid I'll be 90 before I know it. Not really,  but this year is already flying by.

Well I blew my blog for 17 months, and I totally didn't take a monthly progression picture.  But I do have some stats on my precious boy for 18 months.

18 months
Weight: 24 pounds, in the 25%
Height: 33 inches and in the 40%
Eye color: hazel
Hair color: blonde,  like mine was at that age
Clothes size: 18 months and some 24 months
Diaper size: 5
Shoe size: 5

Favorites
food: fig bars, weird I know.  He is a pretty good eater but can get picky and decide he doesn't like certain foods one day but then will eat them later.

Toys: we have too many toys.  The nesting preggo in me is overwhelmed by ALL his toys and his dad's stuff.  Between the two of them I'm losing my mind a little.  And of course most of the things Conall likes most aren't even toys.  He loves coloring,  blocks,  his big car he can ride in,  picking things up and then dumping them out,  and terrorizing our poor Piper. Ellie will just run away but Piper will tolerate his hugs and rough housing. He really just adores her.  It's the sweetest thing.

Skills
* Repeating/learning new words.  Baby, water (wa wa), thank you,  more,  roar, and monkey (mon) are a few new words.

* As mentioned before,  picking things up and then of course dumping them out again.  This has come in handy with my not wanting to bend down all the time.

*Generally talking and singing more.  This boy loves to sing.

* Eating well with fork and spoon

* SLEEPING IN A BIG BOY BED.  Why I didn't think of this first,  I don't know. My kid has amazed me and I'm so blessed at how well he's adjusted.

As for #2 and me...
33 weeks preggo
We are so close to the end, it is crazy.  I'm feeling good.  Big.  Achy.  Tired.  But good.

Being pregnant with Conall still so young is hard on my body.  I do wear a support belt most of the time, but he wears me out very easily.  While I do wish we waited a little longer to make things much easier,  I'm excited to see him be a big brother and see them interact with such a close age difference. So far everything is going well: baby is measuring on target, my weight and blood pressure are good (only gained 20lbs so far!), no foreseeable problems with low amniotic fluid like last time. We had an ultrasound done at 30 weeks and baby (and fluid) is perfect. When Conall was born we both had some complications after his birth. He gave me a nasty internal laceration and because of his early arrival breathing was difficult. I'm hoping that we don't have to induce with #2 and will *hopefully* have no issues with breathing or otherwise. And my plan right now is to go into labor naturally and pray/trust God that no complications will arise especially in regards to my previous injury.  We'd greatly appreciate prayers for that as well!

Christmas and holidays

For Christmas this year we went to Dallas to spend time with Jordan's family, and we had a lovely time! A couple of nights before Christmas Eve, we opened up presents from my family and let our dogs have some early Christmas gifts as well.

Literally an hour before we departed for Dallas,  we purchased our new van. It's so wonderful and big and new(ish). With baby #2 coming in April,  my little Malibu wouldn't cut it not only for holding 2 car seats, but 2 sets of baby stuff.  It barely could contain all the things we needed just for Conall. Our van comes with a DVD system and although Conall can't enjoy it yet (rear facing), we were enjoying it when the each other were driving.  I thought I'd hate driving/owning a minivan,  but I've quickly gotten over that. ;)

This was Conall's first Christmas at Poppy and Dorie's house and boy did he have fun with all the toys they had and that he received!  On Christmas Eve we decorated gingerbread cookies and went to a Christmas Eve service.  Each Christmas we're going to give Conall (and future kids) a Christmas book, and this year he got a touch and feel nativity book.  Although he likes the textures, he's more excited about showing off his new animal sounds skills.  So at the service he proudly "baa"ed and "moo"ed while reading his book.  I must admit,  it was adorable. On Christmas morning we opened stockings and gifts while eating delicious bubble bread (my mother-in-law was so thoughtful to help me keep a tradition that I've grown up with). Then we had a delicious lasagna dinner complete with bread pudding for desert. Jordan and I even had a date night out to see Into the Woods. Fun fun!

The rest of our stay included Mexican food and toy stores, and big family get together with the Kidd's long time friend family,  which was really lovely.  Overall our Christmas trip was relaxing and it wonderful to spend time with family.

But it was also great to be back home and see our sweet doggies.  For New Year's Eve we were invited to a bonfire with some good friends,  along with games. For those of you who may not know,  we love board games/ strategy games.  And friends.  We love them too :) It was a perfect way to bring in the new year!

New Year! New goals and dreams...

*note: don't be fooled by the date on this post.  It was really written over a month ago

I don't know about you,  but writing 2015 in the date feels weird,  wrong even. It's crazy how quickly time flies!  For instance,  this week I'm starting my third trimester with baby #2. And my big baby is 17 months old,  almost a year and a half.  And writing how close together they are is sort of freaking me out...

Like most people,  I spend the beginning of the year dreaming of goals and aspirations for that year.  Last year most of my goals (not resolutions for I certainly break resolutions entirely too quickly; goals I can break but then pick back up) were focused on health and fitness.  Lose 20 lbs (which I did!!!), run 100 miles (ha... maybe 50, maybe), run a 10k (as much as I wanted to,  nope) and the like.  To be honest, when thinking about this upcoming year I had a mental block at first.  How can I make goals, especially attainable goals, when my biggest goal is just surviving April through July?  See, not only are we going to have 2 under 2, but my husband will be working crazy long hours mid-April to end of June.  Crazy hours as in night shifts. Add in no family within 7 driving hours (my family is 10 hours away) and April becomes a black hole in my mind. I know I'm no special case and there are tons of mamas in my boat, but tell that to my hormonal, pregnant mind.

Fortunately,  I'm not alone.
"This is my command- be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged.  For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. " - Joshua 1:9

"So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God,  and at the right time He will lift you up in honor.  Give all your worries and cares to God,  for He cares for you." 1 Peter 5:6-7

My biggest goal this year is to trust and rely on God, believing Him for: who he says he is,  for what he says he can do, for who he says I am, for the things I can do through Christ, and that his word is alive and active through me.  From reading his promises in scripture and believing them best I can,  I'm already feeling this huge burden lifting.

Joshua 1:5 NLT "No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live. For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you." I may be sleep deprived, but never abandoned.  Matthew 11:28-30 NLT "Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” Truly what amazing promises and hope.

 Will it still be difficult come April?  Absolutely.  Will I have to come back and read this for hope? Most likely.  Will I be drowning in self pity and despair?  Not if I believe those verses above to be true.  And even if I don't believe it,  they are still true.

So I'm allowing myself to dream,  to make goals.  I have a ton of fitness and health related ones still,  but this year it's mostly a year of challenge for my faith.  Will I believe and have faith?  God willing, yes!